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For best results, EFT is a process that has to be “aimed.” The more specific the target, the more terrific the results. “For results that are terrific, you gotta be specific.” If you are trying to win a basketball game, you have to “aim” your efforts at getting the ball into the hoop, as well as "aim" at preventing players on the other team from getting the ball into the hoop. When you go to the dentist to deal with a toothache, you want the dentist to “aim” their tools and treatments to address the specific problem going on in your mouth. The dentist is not being negative by targeting the aching tooth, she is simply aiming the solution at the site of the problem.
Choose a specific problem, issue, emotional stress, trauma, or drama to work on. Again, the most powerful way to get deep, fast, and permanent results is to focus on a specific event, or a series of related specific events (addressed one at a time).
Check in with your body and notice where you feel the emotional issue in your body the most strongly. Rate the intensity of the feeling that you get around this specific event or issue on a scale from zero to ten in which “zero” means no stress or intensity, and “ten” means the most stress and intensity imaginable.
The next step is to create a tapping “Setup Statement.” The Setup Statement is a phrase that connects an acknowledgment of the problem with a statement of acceptance for oneself. The basic format of the Setup Statement goes like this:
Even though I have this (whatever the problem/issue may be), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
First, we make a statement of acceptance and acknowledgment of the problem, “Even though I have this problem….”
Then, we make a statement of acceptance about ourselves. “….I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
So, if I feel angry because I got kicked out of court on minor technical grounds, I could say,
Even though I got kicked out of court for no good reason, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Once you have created your Setup Statement, You can begin the “Tapping Sequence.” The Tapping Sequence is a simple routine which takes between 60-90 seconds to complete from start to finish. To begin the Tapping Sequence, start tapping on the Side of the Hand (SH) point. This is the fleshy, side of the hand, starting just below the little finger joint, to just before the beginning of the wrist.
(NOTE: Pardon the rant, but here it comes... Most EFT practitioners, including Gary Craig, the founder of EFT (who I gratefully consider a true life-saver), call this the “karate chop” point. This is descriptive and easy to remember, but it is not a very culturally competent labeling. I call it the “side of the hand” or "edge of the hand" point, and recommend you do the same.
It is just as easy to say and just as descriptive, but does not appropriate or caricature the cultural expression of people from the other side of the world as the term “karate chop point” does. BTW, the inventors of karate NEVER use the term, and current teachers of karate often forbid its use. I am uncertain of the origin of the term "karate chop," but my best guess is that it emerged in the post-WW II era, in the crucible of the Cold War, and was probably popularized in "secret agent" movies a la James Bond, in which the hero (typically, a white guy), would sneak up on one of the bad guys (probably a communist, or a person of color), rendering them instantly unconscious, if not dead, as a result of the deftly dealt "karate chop" blow. This is about as realistic as the "Vulcan nerve pinch" that Mr. Spock used so effectively in Star Trek.)
Tapping continuously on the Side of the Hand Point, repeat your setup phrase three times, saying:
Even though I have this (name the problem or issue), I deep and completely love and accept myself.”
After the setup phrase, we continue with the Tapping Sequence. Selecting a simple “Reminder Phrase” that helps keep a focused aim on the problem or issue that we are addressing, we simply repeat that “problem statement” once, while tapping 7-10 times with the fingertips (of the index and middle fingers) on each of the points in the Tapping Sequence. An example of a reminder phrase, “big stain on my new shirt” or, “kicked out of court for no reason,” or “this headache.”
TH – Top of the Head, right at the very crown of the head, where the three plates of the skull come together.
EB – Eye Brow, at the beginning of the eyebrow on the bone of the eye socket, close to the nose.
SE – Side of the Eye, on the bone at the edge of the eye, close to but not on the temple.
UE – Under the Eye, on the bone that forms the lower eye socket, directly under the pupil of the eye.
UN – Under the Nose, in the crease between the nose and upper lip.
CH – Just Above the Chin, in the crease between the lower lip and fleshy part of the chin.
CB – Collar Bone, on the bony knob where the collarbone meets the breastbone.
UA – Under the Arm, on the side of the body, about 4-5” below the top of the armpit, or about where a bra strap would run if you were wearing one. This spot is near, not in the armpit, and is usually surprisingly tender to the touch.
After completing the Tapping Sequence once, which you can usually do in one minute or so, check your emotional intensity again. If it is still present, rate your intensity from 0-10 again. All future tapping rounds on this specific issue or memory should be slightly changed in the following way. The Setup Phrase should be restated to say,
Even though I STILL have SOME of this (whatever the problem/issue may be), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
The only difference in your new Setup Phrase are the words “STILL” and “SOME.” There is also a slight variation in the “Reminder Phrase.” The new language for the “Reminder Phrase” should be changed to “This REMAINING (problem),” or “this REMAINING headache.”
Very few everyday upsets will take more than 5 rounds or 5-10 minutes to clear. And, like anything else, the more you practice, the more skillful you will become at releasing problems through tapping more and more quickly. If you put as much time into learning how to master your own internal well-being, as you did into learning how to drive and passing the written test and the road test, you will be learning a skill that, like driving, can serve you for the rest of your life. The same amount of energy will bring much greater benefit to yourself and to others (even though having a driver’s license is a pretty cool thing.)
Practice, practice, practice. Whatever you practice repeatedly, you become excellent at, whether it is harshly judging and overeating, or loving yourself and getting lots of rest and exercise. This is also true of tapping. The more you practice, the better you will get.
The deepest and most profound shifts will come when you use it in a time of need. I recently traveled to another city to lecture at a university. I needed to take a connecting flight to get there, so when I got off the plane in Detroit I had to check the monitor which indicated to me (incorrectly) where I could get my connecting flight to North Carolina.
I sat and waited, thinking that the plane was late, when it had been rerouted to another gate. I got to the correct gate just after they had closed the plane and prepared to leave the gate. Since I feared the possibility of losing $3500 for this speaking engagement I began to hyperventilate and fight back tears. I was so freaked out, that I thought “If I don’t get tapping, I’m going to lose my mind and maybe not figure out how to get to my gig.” So, I started tapping.
In less than 3 minutes, I went from feeling sad and at a solid 9 intensity on the SUD (subjective units of disturbance) scale to about a 1. I felt clear, calm, and ready to deal. After chilling out over the missed plane, I tried to decide whether to sleep in the airport, or get a hotel room and come back really early. When I checked my luggage for my laptop, I realized that I was in such a rush to get to my departing flight in San Francisco that I had left my computer at the security checkpoint, at the end of the conveyor belt, before dashing off to the plane. Just a few more minutes of tapping, and I was able to figure out a plane for my computer, my next flight, my overnight stay (at a hotel) and my spiritual condition—which was relaxed, confident, centered, and grateful.
Even though I only got 3.5 hours of sleep I did a fantastic job the next day, having arrived with time to spare. I collected my cheddar and headed home with the gratitude and appreciation of my hosts. If I did not have tapping, I would likely have not made it to the gig, or not made it in good emotional shape, or spent a lot of time beating myself up. Instead I forgave myself, thought about what my audience needed from me, and what peace and strength I needed to tap into inside myself in order to get to my gig feeling whole and ready for the job. I am sure that the difference for me between victory and defeat in this instance, as well as in many others is my personal secret weapon—EFT.